dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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