I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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