i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize