I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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