I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
