Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
