Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
