everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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