I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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