i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
