I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
