I am puke
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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