I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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