Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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