im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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