this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
