so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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