I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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