go do what you do best...puke behind churches
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
