I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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