Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
