A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Couch. On fire.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
