she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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