I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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