would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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