i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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