two words: eviction party
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
