They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
