I'm laying in your front yard are you home
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
