I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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