Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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