Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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