a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
