My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
