Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Holy shit dude........stairs
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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