your room smells of hookers.
And success
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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