just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You may now shotgun with the bride
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
