Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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