Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
