I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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