put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
