I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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