do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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