if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
