Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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