make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
