TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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