I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
