I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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