I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
