Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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