Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
