literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
