No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
