I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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