I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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