i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize