I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
