i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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