I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
When are your genitals available?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
A bitchslap is in order.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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