I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize