No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
