just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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