Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
