I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
