you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
