no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
