I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
