so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
