perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
