Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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